Please Remember Me
by ParaCaerOuVoar
Summary: He didn't want you to forget him. He didn't want to make you cry.
1. Prologue: Speed

Please Remember Me

Please Remember Me

When all our tears have reached the sea  
Part of you will live in me  
Way down deep inside my heart  
The days keep coming without fail  
A new wind is gonna find your sail  
Thats where your journey starts

Youll find better love  
Strong as it ever was  
Deep as the river runs  
Warm as the morning sun  
Please remember me

Just like the waves down by the shore  
Were gonna keep on coming back for more  
cause we dont ever wanna stop  
Out in this brave new world you seek  
Oh the valleys and the peaks  
And I can see you on the top

Youll find better love  
Strong as it ever was  
Deep as the river runs  
Warm as the morning sun  
Please remember me

Remember me when youre out walkin  
When the snow falls high outside your door  
Late at night when youre not sleepin  
And moonlight falls across your floor  
When I cant hurt you anymore

Youll find better love  
Strong as it ever was  
Deep as the river runs  
Warm as the morning sun  
Please remember me  
Please remember me

Prologue

Speed knocked on Horatio's and stood back, holding a cardboard box. He'd debated about this for a year now, on and off, but now he'd finally taken the plunge. It was now or never.

Horatio opened the door, looking quizzically at the box, but smiling and standing aside to let him in. Speed entered, swerving to avoid the small table in the hall.

'Hey, Speed, what can I do for you?' asked Horatio, closing the door and moving into the sitting room, Speed following and sitting down in an armchair, placing the box down on the floor beside him.

'I have a favour to ask you H. A big favour.'


	2. A favour: Horatio

'Go ahead

'Go ahead.' said Horatio, finishing his coffee.

'Well, in this job, there's a possibility that I'm gonna die earlier than normal. Last time I got shot, because my gun malfunctioned, if I hadn't been wearing my stab vest, I would have died for sure. What if it happens again? Next time, I might not be so lucky.' He swallowed nervously, before continuing. 'I wrote these letters for Sarah about a year ago, when I knew she was the one. They're numbered. When I die, I want you to send them one by one to her. Once a week.'

'Speed, are you sure? You might not die for years.'

'If I die and Sarah and I aren't together, open this box.' He ripped open the cardboard box and pulled out a smaller box. A letter addressed to Sarah was taped to the top. A post-it note with the number one on it was stuck to the corner. 'Post this one the day of my death' He handed the box over to Horatio, who took it gently, as if he was afraid to crush it.

Speed got up as if to leave when he heard Horatio's voice behind him.

'Why are you doing this Speed?' Speed turned around, and Horatio was shocked to see tears glistening in his eyes.

'When my father died, he left us nothing. I couldn't do that to the people I loved, especially Sarah.' He looked at his watch. 'I gotta go; my shift starts in like an hour.'

He walked out. Horatio heard the door shut and the roar of a bike engine. He looked at the box on the floor, full of letters.

He hoped with all his heart that he would never have to send them.

--

Another short part, but I thought it was a good end point.

Roll on the next chapter? Is that what you're saying? Fair enough starts writing furiously


	3. A song: Sarah

Another day, another Chapter of something

Another day, another chapter of something. Today it's Please Remember Me. Thanks again to my reviewers night-star-93 (AKA Courtney) and spongedork789. I sure wish I had more names to add to the list, hint hint.

Anyway, on with the chapter.

Disclaimer: I own none of these characters (except Sarah). If I did, Speed would still be alive.

--

It was the day of the funeral. She still couldn't believe it. Every so often she'd had dreams that Tim had been shot and killed at work, but now that it had actually happened, she felt like a piece of her had just withered up and died with him.

At the funeral, she remained composed. Tim wouldn't want a fuss.

Who was she kidding; it was Tim, after all. He would want a funeral with all the trimmings. He always told her that he wanted to go out in style.

A single tear rolled down her face. She made no effort to wipe it off. Behind her she could hear Alexx sobbing, while next to her, Tim's mother cried into her new husband's shoulder.

After the funeral, she was approached by Horatio, Tim's boss. She liked Horatio; he'd been round to dinner a couple of times.

'Sarah, good to see you.' he said in his soft, almost whispering voice. 'Pity about the circumstances.'

She agreed.

'I have something for you, from Tim.' He handed over a small cardboard box. Taped to the front was a letter addressed to her. Seeing Tim's handwriting was too much. A lump appeared in her throat and tears ran down her face.

'I am so sorry for your loss.' He walked away, leaving her to wonder about the box.

Later that night, Sarah sat down on the bed in a hotel room. She couldn't face going back to the house, not yet. She had the box on her knee, and in one swift movement, she ripped the letter off. She put the box to one side and slit the envelope open. Inside was a CD and a letter. She unfolded it and a fresh surge of tears were brought to her eyes. Tim's bold handwriting filled the page and she could remember so many happy memories of finding notes on the pillow when he got called out to a crime scene early on a morning. Wiping her eyes, she began to read.

Dear Sarah,

I know this is going to be hard for you to read, and it is so hard for me to write. Since you're reading this, I know I am now dead. I hope I went in the line of duty, not while crossing the road or getting knocked off my bike.

I wrote this letter on the 23rd of August 2002. It was two months after our first date, and I knew then that I loved you.

I guess you're wondering what's inside the box. I wrote letters to all the team. H, Delko, Calleigh and Alexx. I would like you to give them their letters please.

The reason I'm doing this? As you know, my father died without leaving anything behind. No money, no memories, nothing. I couldn't do that to you. I had to let you know how much you meant to me. When I met you, it was like seeing a comet blazing across the night sky. Little stars were blinking, the good things in my life. When you left, your light had blinded me, leaving me unable to see even the good things, and I found myself yearning for you to come soaring back into my life. I'm sure I will have told you this many times, but I love you, and will always love you, even in death.

One more thing, in the envelope is a CD. It contains only one song, but I want you to listen to that song and remember. You will never be alone.

Goodbye Sarah,

Tim

xxxxxxxxx

Tears now streaming down her face and splashing on the paper below, she looked at the CD. Walking across to the CD player in the corner, she switched it on and inserted the CD. Music filled the room and despite her grief, she smiled. It was her favourite song, but Tim despised it, and would complain whenever it was on, but they had had their first dance to it. Pressing the paper to her chest, she closed her eyes and swayed to the music, and let the memories wash over her like an ocean. Memories of her and Tim at the beach, her and Tim on their wedding day, her and Tim in Europe on their honeymoon.

She remembered the good times and the bad times, and meanwhile the box lay forgotten on the bed, tossed aside like a rag doll a child has tired of.

--

When all our tears have reached the sea  
Part of you will live in me  
Way down deep inside my heart  
The days keep coming without fail  
A new wind is gonna find your sail  
That's where your journey starts

You'll find better love  
Strong as it ever was  
Deep as the river runs  
Warm as the morning sun  
Please remember me

Just like the waves down by the shore  
We're gonna keep on coming back for more  
'Cause we don't ever wanna stop  
Out in this brave new world you seek  
Oh the valleys and the peaks  
And I can see you on the top

You'll find better love  
Strong as it ever was  
Deep as the river runs  
Warm as the morning sun  
Please remember me

Remember me when you're out walkin'  
When the snow falls high outside your door  
Late at night when you're not sleepin'  
And moonlight falls across your floor  
When I can't hurt you anymore

You'll find better love  
Strong as it ever was  
Deep as the river runs  
Warm as the morning sun  
Please remember me  
Please remember me

Next morning, Sarah woke up, and found the box resting on her pillow, left there from last night. She opened it and found four envelopes inside. From the feel of it, they all contained a CD like hers.

She looked at the first one:

HORATIO

written on it in neat block capitals.

She would deliver those letters. It's what Tim would have wanted.

--

Well, what do you think? Please review, it makes me happy.


	4. A letter: Horatio

Sorry it took me so long to update, I've swamped with various pieces of work and suchlike

Sorry it took me so long to update, I've swamped with various pieces of work and suchlike. Anyway, thanks to my reviewers night-star-93, daxy, horatios1fan, spongedork789. Love and cookies to you all.

This story is dedicated to my best friend Courtney. She has put up with my half-cocked fanfics for over two months, helping me find my niche in writing, and reviewed every single chapter of every single story. Love you Courtney!

Also, I know I'm plugging, but could people read my new fic, 'Paw prints in the snow'? It's just started off and needs as many followers as possible. It's a CSI: NY story, but it will have Miami in it very soon. So please, read, review and vote on which TV show you'd like to see next. Thanks.

Also, I'd like to apologize for the song, but I really couldn't think of anything better. Please don't come over and beat me with crowbars.

Usual disclaimer, blah, blah, blah gift wrapped blah, blah, now on with the story!

--

_They climbed out of the Hummer, heading towards McCauley Jewellers. Speed's eye was caught by an ostentatious silver Rolls Royce parked by the sidewalk. He snorted. 'I bet that Rolls belongs to the owner. Cars are such a bad investment.' Horatio raised an eyebrow, and Speed noticed, before hastily adding 'I'm just happy I've got my bike.'_

'_Some day, you might need something with doors.' Horatio replied._

'_Well, I got plenty of time for that.' Speed chuckled and entered the store with Horatio, walking up to a tall man with short brown hair. Horatio removed his sunglasses, using the visual distraction to take a good look around the small store._

'_We're here to see Mr. McCauley please.' Horatio said, fixing the man with a steely glare. Speed grinned inwardly; he loved it when he did that. It made potential suspects blab their secrets willingly, just to get him to stop staring at them._

_But this man wasn't fazed, or if he was, he wasn't showing it, and coolly extended a hand and began to talk in an Eastern European accent, smiling. 'Oh, Mr. McCauley is the previous owner. I'm the new owner. Rudolph Koehler, call me Rudy.' He broke off, glancing over his shoulder. Speed followed his gaze and started moving around the store, watching Rudy warily. He kept his hand near his gun just in case. Rudy continued, not even acknowledging Speed's movement. 'But maybe I can help you with something, officer, I'd be more than happy to help the police.'_

_Speed came to a counter top where two pretty, expensively dressed ladies were standing. He could hear Horatio in the background, questioning Rudy. 'Yes, I've recently been speaking with your customer, Mrs. Tawny Williams.'_

_Speed glanced under the counter, and noticed a man crouching there, hiding._

'_Yes, I just heard the news about her husband.'_

_Speed reached for his gun, while Rudy kept talking, seemingly oblivious to what was happening behind him. 'It's tragic; she's such a nice lady.'_

'_Excuse me.' interrupted Horatio, looking at Speed. 'Speed? Stay put.' he ordered Rudy, before joining Speed, who now had his gun out. Rudy was still talking; even the guns hadn't shut him up. 'She and her husband were very good customers.'_

_A door opened in the back, and Speed tensed, ready. An armed man came out and Horatio's gum was suddenly in his hand. 'Speed!' he shouted._

_The man fired, and the two women dropped to the floor, screaming. Horatio shot at him. Speed's gun clicked uselessly and he cursed, looking at it. He was suddenly flung backwards, a hole appearing in his chest. His shirt turned red._

_Rudy tried to escape, running for the door. Horatio shot Speed's shooter, but another man came out of the door, also armed. He shot at Horatio, but he dropped to the floor and rolled, jumping up again. He missed and the men ran, heading for the door._

_Horatio ran to Speed, shouting his name. He knelt next to him, grabbing his cell phone and dialling EMS. Speed was choking on blood, and Horatio fought to remain calm. EMS picked after what seemed like an eternity and Horatio yelled down the phone. 'This is CSI Caine. We have a priority here! I got a man down, shots fired!'_

_EMS responded and Horatio turned his attention back to Speed. 'You're going to be OK, Speed; you're going to be OK. You'll be fine.'_

_Blood flowed out of Speed's mouth, dribbling down his cheek. 'I-I can't feel anything.' He stuttered, panicking_

_Horatio wiped the blood away, reassuring him. 'Hang in there.'_

_Speed started shaking. He was having a heart attack. 'Speed. Speed, keep breathing. Speed.'_

_He gasped for breath. 'I can't feel anything.'_

'_I know, I know. I understand. Just hang in, partner.' Horatio fought back tears. He had to stay strong, for Speed._

_Speed coughed and blood spattered the front of Horatio's shirt. His eyes dimmed._

'_Speed?' Horatio pressed his ear against Speed's chest, listening for a heartbeat, but it was no good. There was nothing he could do. Speed was dead. Blood spread across the floor, soaking Horatio's knees, but he stayed where he was. By Speed's side, where he should have been from the start._

Horatio lay in bed, his cobalt blue eyes swimming with emotion. It was a week since Speed was shot. Tomorrow he had to post another letter to Sarah. He twisted his head round to see the cardboard box, lurking at the bottom of his open wardrobe. It had twenty or thirty letters in, all numbered in Speed's messy writing. He was- had constantly berated him for that, the lab techs had enough to do without trying to decipher his handwriting.

A knock on the door jolted him out of wallowing in the past. He had a job to do, and a life to live. He could almost hear Speed's voice telling him to get his ass back to work, and he allowed himself a rare smile as he went to answer the door. It was Sarah. She had purple bags under her eyes, like she hadn't slept, but then, so did he, and he hadn't slept in a week. She was holding a letter in her hand, but he couldn't see who it was for. 'Sarah, please come in. How are you doing?' He showed her into the sitting room, into the same seat Speed had sat in over a year ago.

'I'll survive.' She said, smiling weakly. She held out the envelope to Horatio, and he could see her hands shaking. 'This is for you. It's- it's from T-T-Tim.' Her voice cracked and a single solitary tear rolled down her cheek.

He took the letter, looking at it. It was thicker than a normal letter, and there was something solid in there.

She must have noticed him scrutinising it because she said 'It might be a CD. Mine had a CD in. It had our song on. Maybe it has a song he associated you with on.' She looked at her watch, wrinkling her nose 'I've got to go. I'm taking Tim's parents to the airport. Goodbye Horatio.' They embraced warmly, tears spilling out of her eyes, soaking his shoulder. When she left, Horatio took the letter out of his pocket, where he had stowed it during the embrace. It said simply "Horatio." on it.

He turned it over and slit it open. A CD slid out, like Sarah said, and a letter, folded up tightly. He unfolded it and began to read.

_Dear H,_

_If your reading this, then I must be dead, or so far gone it doesn't matter either way. I know you must be killing yourself over this, but no matter what happened, I want you to know that it wasn't your fault. I probably did something stupid, like going into an uncleared crime scene by myself. Or I forgot to clean my gun and it wouldn't fire like last time. I know I gave you a scare then and I'm sorry, and I'm sorry this time._

_Well, I wrote this letter a while ago, on the 17__th__ of June 2003, I don't know if I'll even get it to you._

_I remember meeting you, almost seven years ago now. You were looking for members for your new team, and I was a scared little kid from New York, fresh out of university, looking for a job. You took me under your wing, helped me get to know the city and the criminals in it. I remember cracking my first case, and you took the whole team out to celebrate. I remember Delko telling me that you didn't do that when he cracked his first case, and he sulked all night, well, for about six and a half seconds, until you bought us all drinks. That cheered him up._

_I remember you getting shot, I remember your brother, I remember the look on your face when you unravelled the suspect's lies, sending them to where they belonged. _

_I remember every detail of seven years of friendship. You saved my life more times than I care to remember, sometimes offering your life instead. You are a true hero, the protector of Miami, and everyone in it._

_This CD contains one song only. I want you to listen to it and remember that you can't save us all, that sometimes even the best of us make a mistake. Listen and remember that I am with you every step of the way, even if you can't see me. _

_Goodbye H, I'm gonna miss you. I'll say hello to Ray for you._

_Speed._

Horatio booted up his laptop and inserted the CD. The song filled the room, and tears filled Horatio's eyes.

_The time has come to say goodbye  
The sun is setting in the sky  
The truth's turned out to be a lie  
It's over, over  
Hum yourself a lullaby  
This is the end but baby don't you cry_

So take away the melody  
And all that's left of memories  
Of lovers, friends and enemies  
They're all fading  
You may not remember me  
I haven't got the strength to carry on

If this is the last song I'll ever sing  
Then I'm giving it everything  
I'm giving it all

If this is the last song that I'll ever play  
Then I guess it's time to take  
My curtain call  
I'm dying to thank you all  
I'm dying to thank you all  
I'm dying to thank you all  
Thank you all

So here's to all the lonely hearts  
Cause mine's been ripped and torn apart  
I'm colder now, it's getting dark  
But I'll be OK  
Bury me with my guitar  
And all the way to hell I'll play

If this is the last song I'll ever sing  
Then I'm giving it everything  
I'm giving it all

If this is the last song that I'll ever play  
Then I guess it's time to take  
My curtain call  
I'm dying to thank you all  
I'm dying to thank you all  
I'm dying to thank you all  
Thank you all, yeah

One more song before I've got to go  
I'm singing  
From the very bottom of my soul  
And hear it  
Every single word and every note  
I'm pleading  
Let me hear you sing it all once more with feeling

One more song before I've got to go  
I'm singing  
From the very bottom of my soul  
And hear it  
Every single word and every note  
I'm pleading  
Let me hear you sing it all once more with feeling

If this is the last song I'll ever sing  
I'm giving it everything  
I'm giving it all

If this is the last song I'll ever play  
Then I guess it's time to take  
My curtain call

If this is the last song I'll ever sing  
Then I'm giving it everything  
I'm giving it all

If this is the last song I'll ever play  
Then I guess it's time to say  
We thank you all

He recognized the song; his nephew played it a lot. He let it play through, and waited for the silence that filled his house.

He bowed his head, letting tears drip onto his expensive wooden floor.

'Goodbye Speed.' he whispered brokenly.

--

I'd like to apologize once again for the song, my sister insists on playing the album over and over again, and I thought it was kinda appropriate. Also, I know the song wasn't released at the time of this but I'm taking a bit of artistic licence with this.

As always, cookies for reviewers.

I hope people are still reading, I don't want to be updating with no chapters if no-one's going to read them.


	5. Crying: Calleigh

Sorry it took me so long to update, I lost the old draft and had to completely rewrite it

Sorry it took me so long to update, I lost the old draft and had to completely rewrite it. It was a complete nightmare!

Anyhoo, thanks to my reviewers: daxy, night-star-93, Yoda11, JustMeForNow and delkosgirl88.

As always, dedicated to my best friend Courtney. Love you!!

--

_Calleigh came storming into the trace lab, startling Eric and Speed. Good, she thought, before letting rip. 'All right, which one of you stole my Crime Light??'_

_Speed glanced back at Eric, smirking. 'Well, "stole" is-is very negative. I-I had borrowed it, and I had replaced it. I, uh, I put it back.' he offered, obviously trying to dig himself out of the hole he had put himself in._

_She felt a grin coming on, and fought to keep her face straight. 'It would be nice if you charged it first. I was at the scene and it flat lined._

_Eric sniggered. 'Sounds like she's mad at you.' He leant in closer to the evidence, his face nearly split in two by his wide grin._

_Speed laughed, a deep sound that filled the lab. She fixed him with a steely glare, and he stopped, looking slightly ashamed. 'Calleigh, I sincerely apologize.' He said, not sounding sorry at all._

'_Apology accepted.' He grinned, thinking he was out of the woods, when Calleigh suddenly added, 'Give me yours.'_

_He faltered, but Calleigh thought he rallied brilliantly. 'Go ahead, it's in my kit.'_

_She nodded, and spun on her heel, stalking out. As she left, she heard them laughing about something, and Speed's gruff voice mentioning her._

She'd held herself together at the funeral. Barely, but together. However, now she was alone in her apartment, she let it all go. She cried herself to sleep that night, and woke in the morning, pillow crusty from her salty tears. And so it became a routine. Wake up, hold it together for work, go home and cry. It had been a week, and it was getting better. Not by much though, and she doubted she would ever feel the same again.

Then came the knock on the door. A young woman was standing there, looking timid, and holding a plain white envelope. She said nothing, just held it out, and Calleigh took it.

'What is it?' she asked, turning it over, CALLEIGH DUQUESNE written on it in messy scrawl. She'd know that writing anywhere. Her eyes filled with tears.

'A goodbye.' the woman at the door said, before turning and disappearing into the night.

For a long time, she couldn't open it. She shut it away in a drawer, hiding it away from sight.

Until, one day she woke up and it didn't hurt quite so much. And she found she could open the letter. So she did.

_Dear Calleigh,_

_ I'm so sorry you're reading this. I really truly didn't want to put you through this. Not after last time. I know you were always on at me to clean my gun, and keep it clean. And I never listened._

_If that's the reason I'm lying six feet under, then you have every write to hate me._

_I didn't want to leave you with nothing, but I have nothing you'd want, so I'm leaving you with memories._

_Memories like your first day here. I was supposed to be helping you with your firearms proficiency. I shot first and then you just picked up the gun, smiled and shot a full clip's worth of bull's eyes. Then you took a photo on your cell! I was so pissed off. Once I got over my shock. When the photo of me looking gormless and slack jawed appeared on the notice board of the break room, I couldn't help but laugh. That's when I knew we would be friends for life._

_Another lasting memory I have of you is the Palm case. We were wading through inches of blood and guts and crap, and you just turned to me and said 'I hope the Crime Lab is going to reimburse me. These shoes were 300.' It was completely tasteless, but it was our third case that day alone, and I was so tense I just had to let it go. I laughed till the tears streamed down my face. The bollocking we got of Stetler was legendary, the guy turned purple!_

_I could go on forever, but I don't want you to sit wallowing in the past. Go out and live your life. Ask Delko out, you knew you like him and he told me he likes you._

_One last thing. Listen to the CD. You'll understand._

_Goodbye Calleigh. I'm gonna miss the sound of your too-happy voice at six in the morning._

_Tim_

_ XXX_

_P.S. I'm sorry I borrowed your narco test kit. Forgive me?_

Through her tears she smiled. She remembered opening her test kit one morning to find all her tests had vanished. She'd given him seven shades of hell then. He'd just grinned and handed over a fresh, unopened packet of tests, a ribbon tied around them. Lovable sod.

She let herself cry for a while longer before taking Speed's advice. She was going to live her life. Starting with the CD in the envelope. She slid it into the CD player in her room and the music began:

When you were young and your heart was an open book  
You used to say live and let live  
You know you did  
You know you did  
You know you did  
But if this ever-changing world in which we live in  
Makes you give in and cry

Say live and let die  
Live and let die  
Live and let die  
Live and let die

What does it matter to you?  
When you got a job to do  
You got to do it well  
You got to give the other fellow hell

You used to say live and let live  
You know you did  
You know you did  
You know you did  
But if this ever-changing world in which we live in  
Makes you give in and cry

Say live and let die  
Live and let die  
Live and let die  
Live and let die

Listening to the song made her feel determined. Yes she would miss Speed, but she had other friends. Friends who were hurting like her.

And so, taking another piece of advice from her dead friend, she picked up the phone and rang Eric Delko.

--

SO what did people think? I wasn't too happy with the song choice, but I couldn't think of anything else at all.

As usual, appletinis for reviewers!

A/N-As of this Saturday, I will only be posting on Saturdays, cos I have exams soon, so I won't be on the computer much on weekdays. But this way, you wait a week and get maybe 2 updates, depending on how inspired I was this week.

Also, I have a new account strictly for slash stories, the first one is posted now, so check me out, the penname is LivinInAFantasy (points for guessing the song its based on.)


	6. Dying eyes: Eric

Thanks to my reviewers: night-star-93 and JustMeForNow

Thanks to my reviewers: night-star-93 and JustMeForNow

As always, dedicated to Courtney, possibly the biggest Greg fan this side of the sun.

FYI, this chapter was so hard to write, but what the hey, I've posted it.

--------------------

_Speed examined the jewellery that Delko had found in the ocean carefully. 'So these diamonds were hanging off the boat?'_

_Delko looked up. 'Yeah. Why? What's up?'_

_Speed handed a necklace over, picking another up._

'_Nothing. They're fake.'_

'_You sure?'_

_Speed looked at him, raising an eyebrow. 'You may be the fish expert, but I know gems. This is the latest thing, laboratory grown diamonds.'_

_Delko looked closer at the necklace he was holding. 'Like zirconium?'_

_Speed shook his head. 'No, they're real diamonds, just man made. Fraction of the price of diamonds from a mine. Take a piece of pure graphite and put it in a ceramic box with some chemicals. Then slide the whole thing in a pressure cooker. It simulates the pressure and heat fifteen miles below the Earth's surface. Graphite vaporises. After three days, they pull out the ceramic box, break it open, then you got yourself a diamond crystal. Just like nature, only a million times faster._

_--_

Eric looked in the mirror. He looked the same as he had yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that. He had dark bags under his eyes, which were completely devoid of any emotion.

H knew that Speed's death had hit them all hard, and they all had a week of bereavement leave, but no one had taken more than four days.

The letterbox clacked, and he spun around in surprise. Lying on the mat was a white envelope, hand addressed. He picked it up and despite himself, his eyes filled with tears seeing his dead best friend's handwriting. He ripped it open; wanting to know was in this envelope, seemingly from beyond the grave. He pulled out a CD, folded letter coming out with it. He dropped the CD and unfolded the letter, tears trickling slowly down his face.

_Hey Delko,_

_Well, I'm dead. You win, but I bet that it seems like a hollow victory now. Do you even remember why we made this stupid bet? We were sitting in Russell's after Ray's funeral, having a drink in his honour, and you bet that you would outlive me, cos even by then I'd been shot once and stabbed in the foot by a crazy junkie._

_While you're thinking about Russell's, you wanna know why you always get such a dirty look from the owner? We were celebrating your twenty-eighth birthday, and you got so trashed you started dancing on the tables and smashed at least three dozen glasses, not to mention one of the older tables collapsed under your weight. I had to grab you and run, the guy looked like he was having a stroke. I would apologize next time your in, might sweeten him up a bit._

_I guess you're wondering why I'm writing a letter to you. Well, if I got shot like last time, then I won't have a chance to say goodbye. So I'm saying goodbye now. I've known you nearly ten years, ever since you were a scared little kid holding a gun with hands shaking so bas you could barely fire it. There's been some good times and bad times, but I wouldn't change a thing about the past decade. You're as close to me as my brother, and you're a hell of a lot nicer than he ever was. Goodbye Eric, I love you man._

_I'm gonna miss you_

_Speed_

_P.S. I'm leaving the Ducati to you. Do what you want with it, drive it, keep it in storage, whatever, just look after it. That thing was my baby, and I'd hate to think of it rotting in a corner somewhere. Thank you._

_P.P.S Listen to the CD, and understand._

The tears falling think and fast now, Delko threw the letter aside, curled up in a ball and cried. He hadn't shed a single tear for Speed, and now he let it all out. He cried until there were no more tears, just empty sobs.

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed the CD, laying on the ground where he had dropped it. He slid it into the ancient CD player he had in the sitting room and hit play.

_Slip inside the eye of your mind  
Don't you know you might find  
A better place to play  
You said that you've never been  
But all the things that you've seen  
They slowly fade away  
So I'll start a revolution from my bed  
'Cuz you said the brains I had went to my head  
Step outside, summertime's in bloom  
Stand up beside the fireplace  
Take that look from off your face  
You ain't ever gonna burn my heart out  
And so, Sally can wait  
She knows it's too late as we're walking on by  
Her soul slides away  
But don't look back in anger  
I heard you say  
Take me to the place where you go  
Where nobody knows  
Where nobody knows if it's night or day  
Please don't put your life in the hands  
Of a rock and roll band  
Who'll throw it all away  
I'm gonna start a revolution from my bed  
'Cuz you said the brains I had went to my head  
Step outside, 'cuz summertime's in bloom  
Stand up beside the fireplace  
Take that look from off your face  
'Cuz you ain't ever gonna burn my heart out  
And so, Sally can wait  
She knows it's too late as she's walking on by  
My soul slides away  
But don't look back in anger  
I heard you say  
So, Sally can wait  
She knows it's too late as we're walking on by  
Her soul slides away  
But don't look back in anger  
I heard you say  
So, Sally can wait  
She knows it's too late as she's walking on by  
My soul slides away  
But don't look back in anger  
Don't look back in anger  
I heard you say  
At least not today._

Delko smiled sadly. It was his favourite non Spanish song, and Speed had mocked him mercilessly for it when he found out.

Just because he listened to indie music didn't mean everyone had to walk around listening to Coldplay all the time.

He ejected the CD and took it to work with him, listening to it on the way there and back.

And when he caught sight of himself in a mirror, his eyes didn't look quite so dead.

-------------

ANNOUNCEMENT!

I have a poll up on my profile, and if everyone could vote on it, it would make my life a little easier.


	7. Talking: Alexx

Thanks to my reviewer CSI Ballistics

Thanks to my reviewer CSI Ballistics.

Just one more chapter after this one, thanks to everyone that's stuck in with me this far.

As always, dedicated to Courtney, faithful as ever.

----------------------

_It was a day she'd been dreading, but she knew it was coming. One of her friends was lying on the cold metal table, waiting for her. Deep down, she always knew it would be Speed._

_She pulled on a pair of gloves and examines his hands closely. A tear runs down her cheek and she pats his face with a gloved hand before unbuttoning his shirt gently, revealing a jagged hole in his chest where the bullet ripped through his flesh. She struggled to keep control, but the grief wins and tears cloud her vision. She wiped her eyes, she was going to finish this autopsy._

_She finished undressing him and folded his clothes for one of the CSI's to take. They already knew how and who shot him, but they had to be thorough. Turning on the water, she tenderly washed his body, cleaning off the dried blood caked to his shoulder._

_Taking a cloth, she wiped his face, where blood spatter was mixed with stubble._

_She glanced over to the examining booth where Horatio stood, silent tears running down his face, still stained with blood, as was his shirt. Speed's blood._

_She let out a choked sob and opened the floodgates. She sat on a stool and cried. Her baby was gone and nothing was bringing him back._

--

Alexx was nothing if not a good mother. So she kept it together for her kids. She read them stories at bedtime, and then, when they were asleep, she crept downstairs and sat with her husband and just talked. She talked about Speed and all the stupid things he'd done, and how he was always there for her.

And one night, she was ready to talk about his death, when the doorbell rang. As she was a mess, her make up running down her face, her husband answered the door.

He came back with a white envelope and a puzzled look on his face. 'Who was it sugar?' she asked, wiping her eyes.

'Sarah. She said this was a goodbye, but I don't recognise the handwriting.'

He handed it over. ALEXX WOODS was written on it in all too familiar handwriting. The tears started again. It was from her baby, from Timmy. She opened the letter, sinking into the couch cushion.

_Dear Alexx,_

_I'm sorry. I know that's not good enough, but it's all I have really._

_I sat down to write this letter, and totally panicked. How do you say goodbye to someone closer to you than your own mother, someone who took you under their wing when they didn't need to?_

_So I'm just gonna say it. Goodbye Alexx. You took notice of me when nobody else did. You were my shoulder to cry on when my brother died. I'm gonna miss you so much it hurts even writing this._

_I have just one thing to say. Don't cry because I died, laugh because of how you remembered me._

_Goodbye,_

_Your baby, Timmy_

_XXX_

_P.S. The CD (I guess I had two things to say after all)_

She looked inside the envelope and tipped out the CD. She clicked it into the DVD player, and music filled the room.

**Because I'm evil (and lazy), I'm accepting suggestions for the song that Speed would send Alexx, I'm fresh out of ideas.**

The tears slowed, and she smiled. 'Oh Timmy,' she whispered. 'why'd you have to go?'

---

I know it's short, but like the letter says, I sat down to write it and totally panicked.


	8. PS, I love you: Sarah

Last chapter!

I know it's short, but I just wanted a drabble to finish everything off.

This chapter is dedicated to the many people who reviewed on this fic, but mostly Courtney (night-star-93), who has stuck by me since I started writing fics, and I wouldn't have got this far without her. Much love to her!

Big love and thanks to:

-CSI-Ballistics

-Sango A.R

-JustMeForNow

-night-star-93(again)

-Delko'sGirl88

-Yoda11

-daxy

-horatios1fan

-spongedork789

----

It was Monday. Sarah both longed for and dreaded Mondays, and loved and hated them. Monday was when Tim's letters came. It had been a couple of months since his death, and every week without fail, came a letter. At first she'd been angry at him, he could keep his damn bike spotless, but his gun wasn't worth bothering with. But then she'd accepted his death as a tragic accident and started to move on.

The letterbox clacked and she grabbed the letter, tearing it open, reading it hungrily, drinking in the memories.

And he always finished it 'P.S, I love you.'

----

Thanks to everyone who's stayed with it, especially when I was going through a song crisis and couldn't find a song for H. Please keep watch for my next Miami fic, called Destiny. Speed-centric again, I'm trying something different.

Also, remember to vote on my poll, it will be closing on the 1st of December.

Rachel


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